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On Your Way To Success: 4 Ways To Get Out Of Your Own Head

By: Rebecca Hamilton, Owner Of Chick Boss Cake

1. Stop Hating On Your Competition


I mean it. This goes for all industries where you may be secretly wishing your competition packs up tomorrow.


Let’s just take a moment to think about the general qualities that your ‘competition’ likely has- Someone who has similar interests as you, similar struggles, similar accomplishments & similar goals…


Gee, aren’t those the same qualities you would look for in a friend? Seriously though, think about how much you actually have in common with them. I don’t even like to refer to other human beings as ‘competition’. Don’t get me wrong, I am a competitive person & I love a good competition but labeling an actual person as a competition seems a little cold to me. I feel like colleague is more appropriate, after all you’re both doing the same thing, just a little bit different, a little more unique to YOU!


Once you realize how much you have in common & share the same passion, how in the world can you hate on that?!


Stop thinking the competition is going to ruin your business! This is so silly, you’re the only one in charge of the success of your business. Not ANYONE else. Where focus goes, energy flows- focus on how you can make your business the best, most unique it can be.


I recommend you do your research and know what makes them special so you can differentiate yourself. Get to know what their specialty is and do your own. You can’t specialize in everything {and I do not recommend you try, you know the saying ‘Jack of all trades but master of none’}.


I’ve never felt in competition with any local businesses & I feel like it’s been a contributing factor to my success. I genuinely wish them well & have so much respect for them, how can I not when we have so much in common? I’ve helped other business’ when they were in a pinch & they’ve done the same for me. Isn’t that ultimately why we’re here? Not to mention, how on earth can I be pre-occupied about anyone else’s business while building my own?


Ain’t NOBODY got time for that girlfriend! You know the saying “Mind your own business?” well… Mind it. 


Take care of it. Grow it. Focus on it.


You will N-E-V-E-R be successful by secretly wishing harm or ill-will upon someone else. In business. In life. 


Ever.


N-E-V-E-R!


2. Change Your Vocabulary


The words you use matter. They matter to others, they matter to you. This concept kept coming up in all the books I was reading & I thought it sounded so silly. Until, I actually tried it. Funny how that happens.


This is actually life changing. It will change your attitude, mood & shift your energy.


How do you feel when you use the word “competition” to describe other similar businesses?


How do you feel when you use the word “colleague” or “friend” to describe the same businesses?


For me, there is a huge difference in my feelings associated with those two scenarios. Try it, what do you feel?


Another small way to start changing your vocabulary is by replacing all the “have-to’s” to “get-to’s”. I get to go to work today, I get to go grocery shopping, I get to go pick up the kids. Whatever your personal “have-to’s” are, change them to “get-to’s”! You’ll instantly feel happier when you realize you “get to” do those things & they really are a blessing.


There’s also words that can be eliminate altogether & replaced with more powerful positive words:


hard —> challenging


fail —> learn


afraid—> curious


anxious—> eager


I’m not saying never to feel bad, of course you’re going to feel bad once in a while, but set a limit. No one wants to feel bad all the time. If you want to feel good more often, use positive, powerful words.


First, listen to your own vocabulary. Write down common negative words you use and then have some fun replacing them. Bonus points for replacing the negative words with silly ones that will maybe even make you laugh when you say them.


Pay attention to how your energy & mood shifts along with your new vocabulary. You’ll wish you did this sooner!


3. Confidence Is Key


Not to be confused with arrogance.


The definition of confidence is: “the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.”


The definition of arrogance is: “when a person believes he or she is better than/more important than others”


Notice confidence is about reliance & trust and not believing your better than anyone else? Because, HELLO- if you don’t believe in yourself or your products, how the HECK do you expect anyone else to?


Listen, no one expects you to be 100% confident about everything in this life, but they sure as heck expect YOU to be confident in YOU & your PRODUCTS!


Confidence (or lack of it) will be obvious in so many ways: how you speak, how you present yourself, body language, eye contact etc.


People can tell, they can feel it. Confidence is knowing you’re going to do whatever it takes & knowing you’re genuinely in love with who you are, what you have to offer & your product. The more authentic you are, the easier & more natural confidence will come.


The beautiful thing about confidence is once you have it, you can use it to build others up. Truly confident people thrive off seeing others succeed and reach their goals. Confidence is not found, it’s created through self awareness & authenticity. 

I have purple hair because colours make me happy. My living room is lime green because it makes me feel energized. My nails are blinged out because sparkles make me smile. I like to travel to unique places because they inspire me. I make over-the-top desserts because I like everything to be a little bit ‘extra’.


It never even occurred to me to try “it in” or be anything other than myself. Don’t be afraid of loving what you love unapologetically. Chances are, it will be the very thing that makes you stand out & succeed.


4. Meditate


This will literally, get you out of your head.


I remember the first time I tried meditation. I think I almost died- of boredom. 1 minute felt like 1 hour. I didn’t get it.


Fast forward a couple months and it’s been life changing. I can focus so much better, clear my creative (always running) mind, my body feels way more relaxed, my breathing is more calm, I could go on…


It’s so beneficial for everyone, at any stage of life but let me tell you. For a creative introverted being like myself, it’s essential. I used to carry so much tension in my body just from the way I was breathing on a daily basis, I used to think it was because I was stressed (I know, BAD word alert- change your vocabulary). After a couple weeks of meditating once a day for 10-20 minutes- OMG. I can’t believe the difference! It’s like I learned to breath all over again. My body was instantly so much more relaxed- all the time.


I can’t get over how much better I feel physically & mentally from doing this, I’ll have to dedicate a whole article on it. It really puts you in a clear state of mind to make epic decisions!


Please try it for a consistent period of time. The app I use is called “Head Space” you can download it on your phone, there is a free version of it. I bought the paid version for me, my husband & our staff to use (because everyone could use a little more calm & well being).


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    1 comment

    • I love how confident and kind you are. The part on not hating your competition really inspired me, I’ve shared your blogs with my class.

      Keep being you, the world needs more of it.

      Beckah S

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